For The Partner
If you are the partner of an addict, there are some very common emotions and behaviors that you may be experiencing. We want you to know that you are not alone and that most partners of addicts experience a wide range of emotions, including denial, hurt, anger, and guilt. Some even feel responsible for their partner’s sexual compulsivity. Often, partners feel so much pain and betrayal that they begin to “shut down” and isolate themselves from others.
It is important for you to know that your partner’s sexual acting out IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You are not to blame. These two important concepts are covered in your treatment. Yes, we recommend you come for treatment also. Even if your partner has not admitted to having a problem, or is not willing to enter into a recovery program, we recommend that you come for help and healing. Now is a good time for you to reflect on your own life and determine what changes you can make that will help you live a life full of peace and passion—a life full of the happiness and love that you deserve.
When a partner learns that her/his partner is involved in pornography and related compulsive sexual behaviors, she/he is flooded with distressing emotions. These include feelings of shock, anger, disgust, deep hurt, and confusion. Partners also experience intrusive and obsessive thoughts. These overwhelming emotions and obsessive thoughts occur naturally as a result of the betrayal, trauma, and of being blind-sided by the disturbing information surrounding their partner’s sexual secrets. The end result is often impaired daily functioning and profound powerlessness. Many partners feel like they’re “going crazy.”
The most common need that partners seek through therapy is a safe place to sort through this traumatic experience. Because most addicts are disconnected emotionally and tend to deny or minimize their problem, it is not very likely that the addict can consistently provide the safety and support necessary for healing, especially early on in recovery. This safety and support is found in the LifeSTAR program, from both your therapists and from other partners who are experiencing pain similar to yours.
LifeSTAR therapists are experienced in the healing process for both the addict AND the partner. LifeSTAR is unique in that we offer a special track of treatment, including workbooks and therapy tasks, focused on common treatment needs for partners of a sex addict.
At LifeSTAR, we recommend that you not make any major decisions regarding your relationship during the first year of recovery. Your world needs to have some stability before major decisions are made. So whether to leave or stay will become clearer after the first year of treatment.
Please don’t delay in reaching out for the help and support that you need.
Please Call Now for a FREE phone consultation.
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